how good it makes us feel.

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I have never felt as much pain in my heart as I did during my fifteenth birthday. I had been looking forward to that day for as long as I could remember – I was the last one out to turn fifteen and my first love wanted to see me. I had been waiting for him the whole day and I was so curious about how he was going to surprise me. The sun was slowly fading and soon it was hidden by beautiful pink clouds – the kinds that only show themselves during lukewarm summer nights. I met up with what I thought was the love of my life and he surprised me, he shocked me so bad I lost my breath. And in that very moment I honestly believed I was going to die. When I finally was able to breathe again, without knowing what I was about to do, I ran away – from the love of my life.

I just kept on running not knowing where I was about to go, but I found a park bench and I sat down for a while. I tried to think clearly, but I couldn’t, what had just happened? Why couldn’t I breathe? Had I been running? Why? I tried to remember what had happened, and then suddenly a lightening rushed through my chest and I remembered what had just happened – it was my fifteenth birthday and my first true love had left me.

I don’t know for how long I was sitting at that park bench, but I remember I watched people walking by – they all seemed so happy, how was that possible? I heard the sound of my phone ringing time and time again, but I didn’t have the strength to answer, I didn’t have the power to move a single muscle. I was thinking about how to get home, if maybe I would have to go to the hospital, though the pounding pain in my chest never seemed to give in. I was thinking and thinking and I found it all rather ironic – me, Isabelle, had been dumped on my fifteenth birthday, what a goddamn karma. I had never been God’s greatest child, but I never figured it would turn out to be this bad.

All of a sudden I saw my dad standing right in front of me, when I saw his face I knew that he knew what had happened. He grabbed my hand and led me to the car which was parked a few blocks away. When I came home I went straight to bed, where I spent the following days. I wanted to know why my first love had left me, I wanted to hear his explanation and I wanted to know exactly what he had told me the day he left me, because I couldn’t remember anything.

It’s truly impossible to put words on the pain I felt inside of me, but the pain never gave in, it just kept on stealing the insignificant energy I had left. The pain burned through my chest, tore my heart to pieces and my crying never seemed to come to an end. Time was running away and every day I was thinking to myself “Tomorrow the pain will be gone”, but it never was. Until a chilly autumn day in the middle of November, I unexpectedly caught myself thinking there wasn’t anything scratching like barbed wire around my heart – the pain was gone. The memories were still there though as well as the fear, but the actual pain inside my body had disappeared.

The thing is that there isn’t the moment when I was dumped in literal sense that’s putting a strain on me today. It’s when I think about the pain I feel sad, or rather scared, because if I felt like that then – then my heart will stop beating for real when the person who gives me a reason to live leaves me. I am going to cry so hard I’m not going to be able to breathe and I won’t be able to calm down or even control myself.

I think that’s exactly why we are afraid of love. Because in truth been told we do know that it’s possible to actually love someone too much, we know the possibility does exist. Isn’t that crazy – to love someone too much? We also do know love always ends unfortunate. Even if love lasts a whole lifetime there comes a time when we are torn apart by death, which frightens me a lot.

But then we got to think like this as well, even how miserably love seems to end it doesn’t mean the ending reveals the history we’ve shared together. Even though love sometimes hurt really badly we also have to remember how good it makes us feel. It makes us feel free, like we can live forever. Love is like a movie – you cannot dislike a wonderful movie with a bad ending – it’s just not possible to feel sad and angry about the bad ending if the rest of the movie felt like a dream.

/Isabelle

Lots of Dakota Part Two

More of Dakota Fanning. On Letterman, A the Runaways Premiere. BTS Hounddog.

Lots of Dakota

Dakota Fanning and Elle Fanning rares

please stop

whenever

fudbal

There’s this boy.

There’s this boy that I thought I was over. Last night when I saw him again after two years, I suddenly realised that I wasn’t.

It's you.

Our relationship was never serious. We were never committed to one another, but still we were in each other’s lives for two years. At least you were in mine for two full years. In my mind and in my dreams.

I was never over you. I know that now.

All the breaks we had, where we didn’t talk - I was still thinking about you all those times. We were only together when you wanted us to be. The rest of the time I was just waiting for you to want me again. Longing to hear those sweet words you would whisper in my ear. Waiting for your hand to be back in mine.

Two years of good times and bad.

But then you got a girlfriend and we stopped talking. She broke up with you, and we still didn’t talk.

I was with others guys. I was over you. Of course I was. I rarely even thought about you anymore.

Then last night I saw you. I met you at a friend’s. We barely talked. But I’m used to that. We always did this. No talking and then suddenly we were back in each other's lives.

God, you are so hard to figure out. I wish I could have figured you out then. That would have stopped me from still wondering now.

Because now I've got all these feeling back in my body. Feelings I thought I no longer had - but know now that I'd just hidden away in a tiny box and kept in my heart (and maybe forgotten a little bit about.)

Yesterday, just seeing you and being in your presence opened that box, and along with the wondering came nostalgic thoughts of you and us, which have now filled up my heart. My heart pumps all these feelings through my body, and I am desperately trying to squish them back into the little box, so it doesn't hurt so much. The feelings won't go away, but at least when I keep them in one place, it's not as painful as when I have them pumping through my every vein.

I just want you to know that I still adore you and that I'm here if you want me.

You can open the box.

Whenever,

S

Tina Fey

An American Actress, very versatile she is writer, producer, comedienne gifted with so much of talent. Tina Fey was born on May 18, 1970, winner of seven Emmy Awards and honoured with three Golden Globes well the list is unending she has got four Screen Actors Guild Awards along with Writers Guild of America Awards, Tina Fey had a great impact on entertainment and culture in they year 2008 by associated press, she was entitled with AP Entertainer award. She completed her graduation from University of Virginia in the year 1992,then she moved to Chicago.



She is very well comedian as she has taken classes from improvisational comedy group, she came up as a writer and wrote comedy show Saturday Night Live due to her outstanding talent in the year 1999 she was promoted to head writer. Tina Fey is very much talented as she has created her own T.V series named 30 Rock, as an actress she performed in Baby Mama, in 2009 she won Emmy Award for her heart touching and satirical portrayal of Republican.

Lets have a glimpse of her personal life she is married to Jeff Richmond, couple is having daughter named Alice Zenobia Richmond, born on September 10, 2005. Tina Fey has a scar of few inches long on the left side of her face well she explains that it is a childhood injury. Tina Fey is a social activist , she works for Austim Speaks it is an organisation who use to sponsor research and awareness along with outreach activities they are basically aimed at public, government and families.

She also supports Mercy Cops concerned with global relief aimed at to end hunger from society, because hunger is the main reason of all the problems, she wants to raise awareness among masses through her campaigns.
Her recent credits are: Date Night Apr 9, 2010, The invention of Lying Oct 2, 2009, in 2008 Baby Mama.

...all day long

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