it was not

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wasting ink

unefille1

Simon, I can't stop wasting ink on you. Your name clings, suspended from the tip of my pen as I drag you over my paper, again and again. You leave a messy streak on everything you touch, the coffee stains on my teak table. And even with you gone, Simon, they're still there. Round reminders of what went wrong. You had the knack of making everything cluttered, always took up too much space, too large for my tiny apartment. Even now, you fill my room with mountains of crumpled notes, sonnets and elegies, novellas. They say it's inspiration but, really, Simon, it's invasion. Every inch of you fills my notebooks, makes the pages cramped. Nothings changed and I'm tired of writing about you, how you always tucked your fingers in my pockets, as though you couldn't hold me any closer. The way you sighed in your sleep. You're gone Simon, and all you've left me with is endless cursive, odes to your lips, the way they stayed limp, suspended at your sides, did nothing to stop me from walking away. My margins are full. There is no more room to breath, my heavy pen, the weight of your hand in mine. A thousand miles apart and Simon, you're still bleeding all over my paper. Ink running down the pages stains my finger tips blue. The color of love.

your scars

thanks alice!

somewhere along the way

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four years ago he gave me butterflies. one night i grabbed his hand and the rest is history so to speak. we spent days and months and years learning everything about each other. we became best friends and fell in love simultaneously. it feels like we created a whole life together, a whole world that only the two of us understood. we loved each other wholeheartedly. we gave everything we could give. we became comfortable and we we're happy in our comfort. then somewhere along the way we became dependent and routine. and now our comfort almost makes me cringe. our world feels different. i am happy being next to him: taking a walk, watching a movie, sharing a meal. we still laugh and talk and get along well. but when he touches me i don't feel much. he tries to kiss me passionately but my lips feel nothing. in privacy i think about the way i used to feel next to him and i cry. i think of leaving him and the tears fall heavier. i don't want to ever not know him. his embrace is still warm as is his presence. but i no longer find myself wanting to sleep in his arms or share my every thought with him. i feel like i am slowly slipping away and he is grasping for me. i feel like i have little left to give. but i still spend all of my time with him. i still reach for his hand when we walk through the park. i still lay my head on his shoulder. i still hug him tightly when we say goodnight. he is my best friend and i love him too much to break his heart.
-caitlin

Nice Threads

Nice um...threads? Dakota Fanning in an interesting attire out on her birthday Feb 23.

Liliana has fun

Liliana Mumy spends time with her brother and a friend.

Rug Love

I have been obsessed with this Matthew Williamson rug from The Rug Company for a little while. I would love one of these for our new house but I think it will definitely be way out of our price range. The colours used are divine and I just love the pattern. Doesn't it look beautiful with that pink sofa and I especially like it placed on the white painted timber floors!

she wants to know

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patience

unicornology

Our patience payed off.

We dated for a winter. It was real love. So powerful for both of us that we didn't know how to handle it. It got weird and she split in the spring. I didn't try to stop her. We were too young.

The next 8 years were self indulgent for us both. I thought of her sometimes, but it wasn't in the front of my mind because all that space was occupied with selfish thoughts. I dated plenty of other people. She dated plenty of other people. All of them were kept at arm's length. None of them mattered even though they thought they did.

Then we started talking again. She was still on the west coast; I was on the east. We got together for a weekend after all those years and it was more than we could have imagined. We simply hugged. The hug lasted for an hour. Her smell, her little moans, her skin, her lips, were all so reminiscent. It suddenly made sense why nothing had made sense for so long. We had truly found love before we were ready for it and now it had come back. So after a few more dates I asked her to marry me. She said yes before I finished asking.

We are so happy together. We both have a tremendous sense of pride for waiting and not settling. We have the kind of love that makes other people realize that they can do better. They can make themselves happy while making someone else happy too. We have the kind of love that books are written about and we feel so lucky to have led our lives in a way that nothing was done on a whim in our youth to fuck it up in the present. For us leaving it alone was the only way to save it, and now that it has come back around we are satisfied by how much we had to go through to get to here. This should be encouraging to everyone out there wondering if they have found it.

It may take longer than you want. The pain in the interim may seem unbearable. You may be tempted to settle on the way. You may think you have found it only to realize you are not sure. Outside pressure may push you in directions you are uncomfortable with. But, we are living proof that it does happen and it can happen to you too. Be strong and resilient. When it hits you it will knock you off of your feet and you will know that your patience paid off.

Mac and Ruby

Runaway Girl

Dakota Fanning shows off her bad girl side and shares a bed with Kristen Stewart.

Set of Vintage Plates

A pretty set of plates are available on Vintage by Lou Lou's Ebay store as above. Don't they look wonderful hung on that aqua wall?!

Christie Brinkley's Dining Room

I adore this image {above} of Christie Brinkley's dining room as styled by Kim Ficaro. In particular I am in-love with the April Gornik painting hanging in the background with those gorgeous silver vases filled with peonies on the dining table. Such a beautiful composition!

Love the fabric on her sofa too!!

we are eachother

tumblr/weheartit

Happenings

Life as I know it just doesn't seem to be getting any slower or less hectic. Sometimes I crave a more subdued life but I suppose that's just not me. I am one who loves things happening and if I wasn't complaining about how hectic everything is then I would be complaining about how boring and uninteresting everything is.

You see, I am juggling a few large balls in the air at the moment along with being pregnant with our second child, due to arrive early May {thought it was about time to disclose this information as clients have been looking at me in a strange way too scared to say "have you put on weight or are you pregnant?"}, we are renovating the shop which is very, very exciting. After being there for 10 years now, it is time for a freshen up and as the business has grown we are desperate for more space.

We have taken over more floor space in the upstairs section of our building which will accommodate a large client meeting room, my new office which I will share with Kelly who project manages all our work, and a large fabric sample room. This will enable the shop downstairs to extend through to the back of the building where my office and client meeting room is currently. With the arrival of our beautiful Stuart Membery pieces of furniture due late April/early May this extra shop space is going to be wonderful!

Here's a sneak peek above of upstairs. I took this photo on Friday. The painters are almost finished. The floors are still to be sanded and painted {white gloss} and lighting installed. We should be up-and-running upstairs sometime within the next month. I can't wait to have a special room to meet clients in. Downstairs has become so crazy and jam packed...an obvious sign that it was time to expand upstairs.

Not only are we renovating the shop, with the arrival of a newborn on the horizon, we have bought a new house which is larger than our current cottage with more land as well. Although I will be so sad to say good-bye to our little house {and the fact that I didn't really get to finish it off the way I wanted to} it just won't accommodate our needs with our growing family. The new house, which is actually a very old house and was built in 1887, is going to be a wonderful project which I will keep you all updated on as we move forward.

So, with all that is going on it was nice to spend some time pottering around the cottage this weekend. I was inspired by the vignette I posted on Friday to move a few of my things around. I purchased some orchids and clustered them on our entry table on a silver tray my mother gave me. Whilst I pottered around, Ned just couldn't help but bring lots of mud into the house on the white floors. So many people ask me how I feel about our white floors. I must say they are so hard to keep clean with a big Golden Retriever bouncing in and out of the house but I do love them and continue to put up with having to have them cleaned 3-4 times per week.

Anyway, that's it from me for now. There are a few more very exciting things in the pipeline but those things are for another day. I just thought I would bring you up-to-speed with what's been happening in my world lately.

xx

Anna

all images - anna spiro

Logan in London

Logan Lerman from Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief.

please help

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I have a bit of a love situation that I'm trying to figure out. I'm really confused and could use some advice.

About a year and a half ago one of my clients got a new business partner. Right away I could tell that he was attracted to me and I thought that was cute. He is kind of cute, too, but not exactly my ideal. I kind of wondered if I could get him to ask me out on a date, which is a bit strange for me since I have never dated a client in all of my ten years of working in my families business. After a few months he asked me out and I thought ' sure, why not - live a little ', so I said yes and gave him my number. He was really cute about asking me out and said he never dated anyone he worked with before but he really liked me and wanted to anyway, he also said he didn't really want my other clients to know about it right away. That was O.K. with me because being a woman in a mostly completely male industry I didn't want everyone to think that I was available. And then he never called. So, I figured he got cold feet and thought better of it. Whatever, right?

Seven months later I'm in his office and he asked me if I remembered him asking me out , I said yes, and he said that he realized that if things didn't work out that his choices would effect his partners and that's why he didn't call and had waited all this time until there was no one else in the office so he could talk to me in private. He said he still liked me and thought maybe we could be friends instead and asked if we could go have coffee or drinks some time - he still had my personal number. So, again, I said that's fine - friends are good. He didn't call. I'm starting to wonder what's up with him. So, I decide to call him up ask him to go some where with me and find out if he's for real or not. I call and he's really happy to hear from me and we go out that night - as friends. As soon as I meet him in the restaurant he's being much more boyfriend than friend. Complimenting me, flirting, even feeding me food ( which I thought was kind of strange but sweet ) trying to kiss me. He sent me a nice text message the following morning.

The following weekend we go out again - as a date, since clearly he really wanted to date. We go out for the day together and he gets really serious - like he's all over me, said I could move into his new apartment with him, mentioned children, having a puppy and traveling together. At one point of the date after things were not going so well ( he had annoyed me ) he took a nap on the chair and I stepped out of the room for a minute when stepped back in and saw him asleep on the chair I actually felt myself calm down in one second and felt attached to him - I could literally feel the sensation- that had never happened to me before. Well, I was kind of blown away. I wasn't sure what to do about all this. Was he lying to me to get me to sleep with him,was he crazy, did he mean it? I mean , aren't guys supposed to hate commitment and being tied down? I thought he was lying. I mean, how do you go from let's be friends to have my children in a week??? I was overwhelmed because we work together and I had just taken over my families business and my family life was chaotic, I didn't know what to do with this guy. Plus , I didn't think we had a lot of chemistry. So, I talked to him a couple of days later on the phone and told I didn't think we should keep seeing each other outside of work since I just took over the business and we work together. I didn't mention I thought he was just trying to get me into bed and I didn't think we really had any chemistry. I was relieved to get it all over with.

The next time I see him at work, though, he won't really look at me and seems pouty and he didn't shake my hand - he always shook my hand. I stepped out of the office and felt bad. On the drive home I just got worse and started crying in the car like crazy , gushing tears. When I got home I went to bathroom still crying for like 20 minutes. I have NEVER cried like that about a guy before in my entire life. I just kept thinking I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't think you meant it. Because if he were lying to me before he wouldn't have really cared. So, a couple of week later I go back to his office. At his desk he looks at me and asks if I missed him. Well, I had to say yes, because I really, really had missed him. He shakes my hand this time and then he pulled me in and kissed me - there was more chemistry this time, it was short and sweet. He wanted to go out again, but I told we shouldn't because we work together.

So , this happens a few more times. I go to his desk to pick up the check and he starts touching my arm, rubbing my waist, kissing me, and pulling me back for more when I tell him I have to go. I told him that I like him, but he's moving to fast and only kissing in his office is ridiculous and we have to talk. He was fine with that but I didn't set a time to talk because of family stuff at the time. So, some time passes and I haven't really seen him much because his business has slowed down over the winter. I send him little e-mails of Facebook on the holidays. He usually responds but says very little. I don't know if he's moved on or if he doesn't like writing in English since it's his third language. I haven't seen him in two months so I sent him an e-mail to see how he was doing and he didn't write back but a couple of days later he sent me three Valentine's Day cards on Facebook.

So, for extra added confusion:
He said he didn't want his partners to know about us, but the way they were acting lately I know he must have told them. My Dad works with me in the business and my Father really does not like him and he knows it - he thinks my Dad is why I broke it off.

I've had four or five dreams about him.
I broke it off and we're still friendly.
Sometimes I think he's more attractive than other times.
When I'm just sitting across the desk from him I blush like crazy all over my body - he's noticed, it's embarrassing.
He wasn't really what I had in mind , but I can't get him out of my mind. I think about him ALL THE TIME.

If we get together and have children, because of the nature of my work I won't be able to keep and do my business. My income will be gone. And I currently help my family financially.

If we get together my Father will be very mad at me and may never speak to/ forgive me.
His family may not like me because I am not of the same culture and though my faith is similar it's not the same.

I don't know what to do. I can't believe I went out with a guy twice and six months later he's the main thought going on in my mind. I've been trying really hard to be professional and adult about this. Am I dramatizing this? Is he playing a game? Did I over-react? Now I wonder if I just threw out a real shot at having the family I always wanted. I'm just surprised that maybe I want it with him? Seriously, if he starts rubbing my hips and kissing me again I don't know how much longer I can hold out.

It's sad to admit, but I've never been in love. Is this it???
I'm soooo confused. Please, help.

Thanks.

A

Pretty Table Vignette

I love a good table vignette and this one by Kim Ficaro certainly ticks all the boxes for me. So pretty! Have a great weekend. See you next week.

Image - Kim Ficaro Stylist via Aubrey Road

forever and always

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Working On

Here's a little scheme I put together today for a client who lives in the country. She is wanting a simple, classic look. She loves blue and white and natural but wanted me to inject some colour to liven the look a little. These are the fabrics I selected for her for some new cushions, curtains, blinds, recovering of 2 chairs. Her room is all-white and she has timber floors....a perfect backdrop. We are going to use a sisal rug on the floor in the lounge area and some colourful accessories mixed with piles of books in the new built-in bookcase.

emotional cheater

weheartit

Think of the word “cheat”. What images appear in your mind? A student peeping over his classmate’s test. Carlton Football Club. Secret rendezvous between a woman and a man.

And then there is the emotional cheater. There is no physical side involved in this form of infidelity, unless you think that touching yourself to fantasies of “the other person” is cheating. I don’t.

The emotional cheater may end up acting out those fantasies one day, if they’re lucky. Or unlucky – you be the judge.

I have never been involved with P. At least, not outside of my imagination. But there is still so much guilt associated with my thoughts of him. I find myself thinking of P when my boyfriend nuzzles my neck, or when he strokes my chest. I hate it when I have to fight the urge to push him away. I loathe myself when I pretend to be consumed in our intimate time. And the thought of breaking his heart breaks my heart.

No one ever thinks well of the cheater. Well let me tell you that it’s not easy, and I’m not even acting on my feelings! You think I enjoy the crippling guilt? I can’t even eat when I lunch with P, and I’m the type who polishes off whatever is put on their plate. Thinking of him makes me happy and sad at the same time – I smile and giggle to myself as I reminisce on what little time we’ve spent together, yet my heart is heavy and weighs me down like cement in water.

You think I don’t want to love my boyfriend as much as he loves me? Of course I do. But I can’t control these things, and this infatuation hasn’t faded like the little crush I had on a friend earlier on in this relationship. And to be quite honest, I don't think I want it to either.

It’s so incredibly difficult when you sit across the man you have been dreaming of, fantasizing about, running through your head over and over… And all you want to do is break that sexual tension, breaching those few inches between you and touch those beautiful, masculine, talented hands. You know you shouldn’t see him. You know you should stay far, far away, instead of trying to sneakily stand that little bit closer to him at the traffic light. But you just can’t resist.

I know that I will never make the first move. P won’t either. He assumes that I am happy, and he’s too much of a gentleman to come between a girl and her beau.

Maybe some things read better on paper. Maybe a relationship between P and I would never work out. That’s what I try to tell myself anyway.

I’m writing this on my way home from a lazy three hour lunch with P. I’ll be going to my boyfriend’s apartment tomorrow. I know that he’ll expect me to sleep with him. And I will. But I won’t be seeing my boyfriend’s face in my mind’s eye, and I’ll hate myself for it.

Betsy's Office

I know everybody has probably seen this but I just had to post it. I absolutely ADORE Betsy Burnham's office as featured in this month's Lonny. It is very much in tune with the look I love.

snow

erinnicole

it snowed again in the city, so this is perfect!
♥

Rita's Sofa Update

Sofa Before

It really is amazing what some new fabric on a sofa or chair can do to a room. Look at Rita Konig's sofa update above. I think the fabric she chose is perfect. Doesn't it make a difference?! I often encourage clients to recover existing pieces. It's one of the most effective ways of updating a room along with adding some beautiful new cushions and maybe a few accessories as well.

Rita Konig now writes a blog for the New York Times. She is the daughter of Nina Campbell fabric designer. Images by Rita Konig.

love is love

ffffound

When people hear that I have a girlfriend, their response is always angry.
They use slurs and are generally very rude.

I don't understand. Love is love. Our relationship is great. We love each other. There are no arguments, ever. She makes me happy, and I make her happy.

We've all been together for two years. If It was legal where I live, I'd ask her to marry me.

When I told my mother about this, she scolded me and told me that I should be in a relationship with only guys, because that's the kind of thing that god approved of.

But like I said, It's been two years since she said that. In those two years, my mother has been in countless meaningless relationships with guys, over a hundred one night stands, and 'booty calls.'

It makes me wonder, is my meaningful relationship with a female worse than hundreds of meaningless relationships with males?
Is it really?

Today I Love...

I adore the photos Julie posted of her home today. I have posted a couple of photos above but you must visit Julie's blog, Shelter to see more!! It is stunning!

Colour Connection

There is certainly lots of things to love about this month's Vogue Living which I just received in the mail today. In particular I loved this shot of Hamish Bowles' living room and thought it went so well with the beautiful child portrait photograph at top by Jenifer Altman.

image 1 - jenifer altman photographer, image 2 - stewart shining photographer for vogue living

happy valentine's day! (or not)

i know the post is a little late, but i hope your valentine's was lovely!

if your day wasn't so lovely + you are tired of this "mushy feel-good celebration"
then head on over to BITTERSWEET where rick made an anti-valentine's post.
he put up a delicious recipe (i tried it!) that includes heart candies...

This recipe will give you an opportunity to break
all those annoying heart candies that are all around.

go HERE for rick's Broken Heart Bark recipe!!

xo
♥

Thomas Meyer Portrait

Today I was searching for some pieces of art for a client for a cluster wall we are creating in her lounge room and I came across this gorgeous piece by artist Thomas Meyer via Jamie Shelman's website.